I first came across Ryan Rae Harbuck through Twitter/X’s and Instagram writing communities, and I was instantly struck by how she seamlessly balances being a mom, managing her home, working, and writing. So when I read her book, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Chair, I felt less like reading and more like sitting down with a friend for a cozy chat over tea, exchanging insights and understanding.
As someone who also shares life with a loved one who has a disability, I completely resonate with her perspective. People like my son, Luis, and Ryan aren’t defined by their wheelchairs. They’re vibrant, active, and endlessly capable – traveling, exploring, and taking part in everyday physical activities just like anyone else.
Ryan’s memoir deeply reflects strength, personal growth, and the power of humor and hope in the face of life’s most challenging moments. Through the lens of her complex life experiences, she offers readers a rare glimpse into a world shaped by loss, renewal, and the courage to rebuild a fulfilling life after tragedy.
The memoir begins with Ryan’s life-altering accident as a teenager, which leaves her paralyzed from the waist down. She was a vibrant sixteen-year-old from Colorado who spent her days swimming on the school team, attending high school dances, and enjoying all the usual teenage activities. But her world changed forever after an accident.
Her story isn’t just a recounting of challenges, but a raw, honest exploration of what it means to recalibrate yourself, your dreams, and your identity after tragedy. What could have become a tale of despair instead transforms into an empowering narrative of finding strength in unexpected places.
Told with warmth and humor, this captivating memoir chronicles her path through young adulthood, marriage, and the chaos of raising a family. Far from being just a story about illness or disability, Ryan dives deep into her family dynamics, personal relationships, and inner struggles, illustrating how she discovered her true strength along the way. Ryan’s tale unfolds through key moments in her life. She offers vignettes that showcase her unique perspective on overcoming obstacles. Her memoir touches on deeply personal moments, such as becoming a mother, and the emotional complexities of rebuilding her life in the aftermath of unimaginable change.
The title, When I Grow Up, I Want to Be a Chair, is a moving nod to the book’s theme. She uses it to symbolize adaptation and acceptance, embodying the quiet strength and presence of an object that holds space and supports others. It is both lighthearted and powerfully symbolic, perfectly capturing the essence of the memoir’s tone.
I love Ryan’s writing style– it is conversational yet reflective, striking a delicate balance between humor and honesty. She writes with a candid, no-nonsense approach that feels both authentic and deeply relatable. Her ability to inject humor into difficult circumstances is one of the book’s greatest strengths, as it shines a spotlight on the absurdities of life while acknowledging its weight.
The memoir is marked by vivid imagery and an ability to turn small, everyday moments into powerful emotional reflections. From descriptions of her frustration navigating a world that isn’t always accommodating to the joy of achieving seemingly impossible milestones, Ryan’s writing creates a visceral connection between readers and her experiences.
One of her most notable qualities as a writer is her vulnerability. She doesn’t shy away from the discomfort or messiness of her story. Instead, she embraces it, offering readers an honest glimpse into her struggles with self-doubt, anger, and even moments of despair. Yet, despite the gravity of her experiences, there’s an undeniable optimism that runs through her narrative, buoying readers with the determination to keep moving forward.
Key Themes and Lessons Learned
At its core, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Chair celebrates perseverance. It’s not just a memoir about living with a disability; it’s a universal story of adapting to change, finding strength, and redefining what it means to live a full life. Several key themes emerge from Ryan’s narrative:
- Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Her story is a testament to how resilience can be cultivated and strengthened through both small and monumental actions. She demonstrates the power of persistence, whether battling physical challenges or emotional struggles.
- The Importance of Humor: Humor isn’t just a coping mechanism for Ryan; it’s a philosophy. She uses wit to connect with others and transform awkward or painful situations into meaningful moments. This lesson serves as a reminder of how a lighthearted perspective can provide clarity during difficult times.
- Redefining Identity: The memoir subtly explores the process of redefining oneself after an unexpected life change. She reveals that while some dreams may evolve, new opportunities can arise from the ashes of the old ones, offering different but equally fulfilling possibilities.
- Empathy and Understanding: Ryan invites readers to see the world through her eyes, fostering empathy and challenging preconceived notions about people with disabilities. Her reflections highlight the need for compassion and a more inclusive society.
- The Quiet Triumph of Everyday Wins: The book is a thoughtful meditation on celebrating the small victories in life. From adjusting to life in a wheelchair to finding joy in motherhood, she masterfully showcases how ordinary moments can carry extraordinary meaning.
When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Chair is an inspiring narrative that transcends its focus on life with a disability. It’s a heartbreaking yet humorous exploration of what it means to live authentically, find purpose in unexpected places, and rise above life’s challenges. Her voice is as warm and inviting as it is insightful, laced with a humor that rivals its emotional depth.
For readers looking for a story that will make them laugh, cry, and perhaps reexamine their own perspectives on resilience and purpose, Ryan Rae Harbuck’s memoir is a must-read. It’s a book that gently holds you, just like the dependable strength of a chair, and leaves you with a renewed appreciation for the remarkable adaptability and endurance of the human spirit.
When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Chair: a Memoir by Ryan Rae Harbuck, published 2022.
Available in Kindle, Paperback and Audiobook.
Justine Castellon is a brand strategist with an innate ability to weave compelling narratives. She seamlessly blends her professional insight with her passion for literature. Her literary works include romantic drama novels—Four Seasons, The Last Snowfall, and Gnight Sara / ‘Night Heck. With her ability to tell stories that linger long after the last word, Justine leaves a mark not only in the world of branding but also in the hearts of her readers.
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